Day 1 of 6th Shot

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My floors are a whiteboard

Today is Christmas, and while my true wish was for Finn to have said one word that I knew 100% he was aware that he spoke and was fully intended by now, we still have to admit his progress has been noticed. This morning was like any other day, although I am not sure how many toddlers are completely sure of what is going on at this point in their life as far as Christmas, Santa, the whole idea really. We got through about 4 or 5 of his gifts, the rest are still under our tree. He had a great time using our white tiled floor as his own personal white board 🙂

We got him many art related gifts and items with alphabets and colors. These are his major areas of interest at this time. It is great to see him have such passion and interest in something other than the tv.

Christmas is a family holiday and that means lots of socialization with lots of people, not even all just family. I have to say we both are pretty pleased with how this and last night turned out. I was anxious before bringing Finn to my Aunt Elaine.

This anxiety was something I used to feel often with my oldest Ean. I never knew if something would happen like at dinner someone ask him something across the table, and while everyone grew silent to hear the cute little boy’s reply, the sounds of his odd beeping noises or head shaking or out-of-place hand clapping would take place. Or maybe even he wouldn’t respond and was looking up at something on a shelf somewhere or on the wall as he often did.

These were the types of moments that were so painful for me to watch that I tried so hard to ignore them or excuse them. The thing is and as odd as it sounds, many people just don’t recognize Asbergers or have even heard o f it. A kid might seem odd, eccentric, quirky, but really he is misunderstood and misunderstanding his surroundings. I didn’t know it either, I just felt embarrassed a lot of time. I shouldn’t have, but I knew no better and was a young single mother just figuring out how to make a good life for my child. However, Ean was and is just the right amount of quirky that makes him fun in a good dose. He is very intelligent which often people confuse with having a great understanding of everything, which is not true at all. However in an everyday world you would notice that Ean calls your attention several times just to reply “Happy Birthday”, or he can’t sit still and not fidget with something, he plays footsies inappropriately with myself and husband, stares blankly at you when you have any in depth question and always always feels guilty or as if you are blaming him for something.

Here is Finn with Aunt Steph.
Playing with candles at Aunt Elaines
Got off track there, but anyhow so with Finn his signs are more apparent. He doesn’t have a cute little joke or response to your questions. He only grunts or babbles, or gnaws at his cup. I can’t “play it off” I can’t ignore it I mus embrace it. However already only 2 months in from our diagnosis I find myself tired repeating all of the same info about where we are on the process, how and why we decided to give our child shots in his sleep and what is expected and by when. Of course I’m happy to talk to it about people who have a genuine concern, but I’m not at all too interested in discussing for ones need to gossip or mere curiosity. It takes a lot of energy from me and stirs up a lot of emotion to discuss so explaining to complete strangers at a holiday party who may want to know “whats up with my child” simply because they are bored and watching him curiously as they drink. So all and all it can be a pretty tiring thing to go to social gatherings.

With all that said however, Finn did really well. he was superbly engaging but there was enough people to make anyone feel overwhelmed. He kept to himself, played if prompted, was able to keep himself occupied on the floor rather than in our arms the whole time clinging for safety, ate without issue, and he didn’t cry or fuss.We were able to enjoy the party and didn’t have to leave early at my Aunt’s.

Tonight at my in-laws we did have to leave early though. Finn did not nap today and was very tired. Despite his cries at 730pm when he is usually home sleeping, he still allowed several relatives to hold him WHICH NEVER HAPPENS!

I do wonder though does this progress that we’re seeing ever stick? Or is it that well se more flexibility form time to time? I’m not sure yet, I feel I have preached too soon about some of the things he has progressed with, because it is dependent on his mood sometimes. For instance, being held, one night he’ll be okay right away and another not. Perhaps it is always okay as long as on his terms…

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