Today we are going to see dr. Neubrander. I haven’t slept right for night. Although I’m not going to leave there with much different than I arrived. I somehow feel a small sense of peace that we are started on the road to progression (I hope). I of course am I bit skeptic. I am worried how Finn will react. Will it change the good things about him. High wonderful demeanor. He does not tantrum like many of the ire kids. Only has some whining fits or only when he needs to be restrained to cut hair or nails. Although most recently his favorite thing to bath, has become a great fear of his. We don’t know if it’s because Erin was forced to give him a bath when he tore off his diaper in the crib and had a poop fest, but ever since then he is terrified of bath. We’ve had to give him wipe downs and sponge baths. I hope our lil guy comes out of there. He wants to learn so bad. He makes me point to the letters he sees or he examines closely and babbles and the alphabet. He loves all the educational things like colors and numbers but we cannot communicate and I feel rotten from the inside that I can’t teach him anything yet…. I say yet…. God please with all that I have dealt with in my life, throw me a break please lord. I cannot bare if our little does not recover I cannot live. Please lord allow him to recover to the maximum possibility. It is not our fault that mankind is so inhumane and does this horrific things to each other for greed and money. Ryan and I just want a healthy family. We want to happy and do good. Please allow some justice for us. We deserve it. If this works the way we hope I will dedicate myself to inform others of its benefits and try and help as many people I can against the injustices that have fallen upon our helpless children. Please let me be a messenger….please allow our little beautiful bot with so much joy to give to give it. Please allow him to be the wonderful child we know he is inside. Help us unlock this in bearable cage he has been out in…. I pray and I hope it is heard.